| Gladys님의 프로필♪格拉迪斯๑ ™사진블로그리스트 |  도구  도움말 |
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2009-06-12 memoirs ... it has been couple of years till i put on some words here.its thundering outside,,and reminds me of the terrible date last yr. it was thundering ,too, and that day i lose someone forever.i cant tell how i miss him,,but to pour out how damn bad i beared to live without him.i didnt see him for almost a yr,,and i wont see him anymore,he was the person who loved me most in this world,who tolerate me a lot,,then whom,i can never tell a word of appreciation anymore.
i dont know why im here to mention all these.just i missed him so much yesterday that i could hardly sleep for the whole night.i took out the phone ,seeing his pic.his eyes were full of kindness ,watching me smoothly,,as if to say, "hey,,honey .im pretty good here,just try to be good and be happy."at that moment,,i couldnt help my tear pouring,,all the feelings deep inside went out in a sudden.yes,,he was gone,,leaving us,,to somewhere we didnt know.i felt like thousands of needles pricking down here in my heart,, i couldnt tell the tough emotions. only miss him.i laid down in the darkness,,thinking whether he was living happily or not.though there was an awful exam this morning,,i still couldnt get rid of the feelings. sometimes i pretend he is still here with us,,i even tell myself when i come home,,he will be there ,giving me a big warm hug. but these scences seem to be so years-ago.the only way to reach them is just remembering,,i m wondering if its a lil bit dull playing this game myself.however,its the best way to cut down the painfulness yearning him.how badly i wish to bring him back,,all of the families go out,having dinner,,going side-seeing.but they are kinda visional,,i even wanna make up the truth that we have bn together all along.yet the truth is there reminding me to the facts.sometimes i hope it was totally a nightmare,,when i woke up,anything s gonna be ok as well.or it was a joke with no fun...but i failed i m rarely put these feelings into my dailylife,,but they are kinda freaky ,jumping out of mind now and then,destroying my day dreaming.i dont know how to handle them,,just choosing to be alone,,not speaking with others,,blocking down myself in the cranny. like a total asshole,huh?! the truth is they cant even feel the real me inside.i laugh with them,,making silly jokes,appearing happy and strong.nevertheless,how can they feel my fragmental heart.so what can i do? i dont even dare to act mushy,i dont wanna depress them,,and i dont want them to worry abt me.nobody gets the real thoughts of mine,,pardonably,,they dont even lose their beloved person. dear D,though im not with you,,my heart s going up there with you ,,always.u wont be alone there,,cuz mom and i r by ur side,,i promise.u left behind a lot of recollections.i m gonna cherish them in the rest of my life,,from the bottom of my heart. time may be the best of a healer,,me dont think so.time will never relieve the bruise of the heart.the heart smashed into pieces,,can it ever be pasted? are you gonna be one of the stars guiding me up there in the sky?are you gonna watch me when i m asleep? are you gonna be there for me when im frustrated?how i miss u,,how i miss u ,soooooooo much,,i m gonna shout out at the top of my lungs,,I MISS U!! can u hear me? there s no substitute for you anylonger,,im so sorry not saying i love you when i was by your side,,the chance slipped away,, with full of regrets here,,i finally realise the meaning or "you r not gonna cherish them untill u lose." if i got three days to be with you,, id rather pay back with all my life..i want you back,,and i cant keep thinking abt u..maybe im going too far,,im lil bit under the pressure,,tell me ,, what can i do...am i crushing!! 트랙백이 블로그의 트랙백 URL은 다음과 같습니다. http://gladyswang.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!DA3EB1F5137684B3!1616.trak 이 블로그를 참조하는 웹 로그
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